How to Bounce Back After a Setback

3 simple steps for making your comeback



"How will I get through this? What should I do?" After 6 years with the company, Christopher had been let go due to downsizing. It didn't seem fair. He was good at his job. What would he tell his wife? Where would he go next? For most people, this type of scenario hits hard. It's a major setback.

Maybe you have recently found yourself in dire straits because of a loss. This may be one of the most difficult times of your life. You may have lost a job, had an injury, ended a relationship, or maybe just found yourself stuck in that one-step-forward-two-steps-back matrix. All of these can be difficult, making it seem like life is throwing you a curve ball. Hardships like these are not always easy to overcome but there are 3 simple steps that you can take to bounce back from a setback.


"How do I get through this?"

STEP 1 - MAKE A CHOICE


I don't mean like choose A or B, door number one or door number two, not that kind of choice. I mean choose between fear or ambition. Bouncing back from one of these major issues can seem daunting, maybe hopeless at times but it is possible. You must choose to make it through. You see, fear tells you that you're going to be stuck with this problem from now on and that this problem, this setback is going to be the end of you. Fear tells you that it's going to be too difficult to come back. Fear says that the pain and the struggle that you're going through right now will last but that's not what ambition says. Ambition says there's hope. Ambition says there's possibility. Ambition says I don't know how but I'm going to do this. Ambition leads to passion and purpose. When you make this choice it's a conscious choice and it takes effort, it takes continued effort. It's not just a one time thing. At first it's an every day thing, maybe every minute thing. You might find yourself on an hourly basis trying to decide if you're going to wallow in the pain and the hurt that you're feeling or are you going to choose to believe that you can come out on the other side of this.


This choice is very similar to most other learning experiences that we go through. You may be learning a new skill , for example, learning to skateboard. I don't know why you would do that, I wouldn't do that, but you might. I'm afraid of meeting the concrete face-to-face. But you may be learning to do this new skill and the first few times you don't get it right. You mess up, you miss your landing, you fall - but every single time you miss, you're making a conscious decision to not give up. You either give in to fear or choose ambition to keep going and try again. Just like learning a new skill, you now must choose to reach for something more, something better than your current circumstances. In other words, ambition is full of faith and faith can be difficult. After a loss it can be hard to see that you're going to be okay. It's not pretending that nothing happened, but it is saying that if you make the choice of ambition that you will see tomorrow and that your tomorrow will get better.


"You are worth it - you are important."

STEP 2 - SELF-REPAIR


The second step to bouncing back from a setback is self-repair. Similar to self-care (the things you would do on a regular basis to take care of yourself), self-repair is needed when you have suffered a loss. Take some time for self-repair - physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. Sit down and examine the different aspects of your life and what you're going to need to get balanced. Determine what you need in each area to get back to your level of functioning. This will be different for different people. For example, if you had a physical injury then you probably needed medical care and possibly rehabilitation. That rehabilitation would help rebuild the muscles or whatever was damaged so that you can function again. This is the same idea that we're talking about here. Mentally, emotionally, and spiritually take some time to yourself and examine your needs and wants and what it's going to take to get you back to functioning. This process takes time. Don't try to rush it. It may take six months, it might take a year. You never know but it's worth it and you're worth it. 💖


Also, as with the physical injury example, you may need to get help and that's fine if you do. Don't ever think less of yourself or feel like other people are going to think less of you if you get the help you need. You would get medical help so it's the same with the mental, emotional, and spiritual aspects. Talk to your therapist, talk to your a spiritual leader or a mentor or coach. As a matter of fact, I think I know a really great, awesome, phenomenal holistic life coach that can help you if this is what you're looking for you. 😁 (successfulpurpose.life) Get the help you need - this will get you back on track quicker with greater insight leading to a more balanced life. It's great to have support and encouragement from somebody else to help get you through a rough time.



STEP 3 - WRITE YOUR PLAN


Plan your moves. Write them down. I know, sounds like we're talking about a building project of some sort. Right? Actually, rebuilding your life from whatever hardship broke you down is indeed your own personal project. One good thing to keep in mind, you don't have to rebuild it like it was. You can choose to build something new and different. The fact is, whatever the setback was, you're going to generate a bounce back by planning ahead. When I was growing up, one of my best friend's dad had a saying - plan your work and work your plan. This is the path to success. Write down what your next moves need to be whether financial or education or training for new skills. Write those things down and plan what you're going to do next. Make it detailed, step by step.


Writing down your goals also helps you gain a better understanding of how long it's going to take to heal. This can come in handy because what you need may take one month, six months, a year, or even longer. Bouncing back from a setback can take a lot of time and that's fine because it gives you an opportunity to refine yourself and really grow as a person. That, my friend, is success in life - not what you accomplish, but who you become. So, no matter how long you think it's going to take, always remember to keep moving toward your goals. Taking time to plan and prepare reminds me of a quote by Abraham Lincoln. He said, "Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe." Work on yourself. That's mainly what these 3 steps have in common. If you can do these you can come back and bounce back from a setback.


Always remember, you are PHENOMENAL! See you next time - namaste. 🙏


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